Working for somebody, you could only use what equipment was given to you. An old PC is not a good way to boost your productivity, but what to do? Bosses can be such a miser even if the money does not belong to them and the company is making so much money only to be given away to the taxman. A case of penny wise pound foolish.

My aging computer may be a Pentium 4 class, but it has been running slower lately. Probably no thanks to the ever bloatedness of newer software like Microsoft Internet Explorer 7, anti-virus software, updated dotnet fixes, java applets, active x components and etc. In addition, older hardware through wear and tear will tend to slow down as well.

I could of course reformat my hard disk; it would speed up my PC temporary by removing lots of gunk from the registry file and other software junk. Like I said, it is just temporary, as soon as I reloaded all the necessary software, it will slow down anyway. Besides reformat and reinstallation is such a tedious affair that I loath to do any of it unless absolutely necessary.

My boss asked for a backdated file, and it took my computer ages to retrieve it. In the end, he couldn’t wait and asked from my colleague instead. So off the cuff, I asked whether I could get a new computer. He just brushed off my comment. So looks like I will have to live with this old junk PC in the office.

I have tried removing as much useless software, and even using registry cleaner, defragmenting my hard disk, and the like. It may a help a little. Just a little. Probably not much.

When my boss needed a new notebook because the current inherited laptop from his predecessor was too slow, he just went ahead to buy it. But I guess as an employee, we will have no such luck. Perhaps if my PC suffered a burn out then only would he allow a new computer purchase. Hah, a case of use until the equipment breaks but not before.

And if my previous boss wasn’t such a prick, I would have new computer to use. But alas no. He hated my previous MD. And somehow transferred his bad politics of hate to me too. When I proposed a new computer to replace an aging Pentium II, he passed the new PC to another colleague and asked me to take over the older PC. And now this older PC is also getting very slower by the day and the current boss in his aloofness also don’t seem to care so much, although he is not spiteful like the previous boss.

I just wish I could run off and start my own business. Perhaps I am too comfortable drawing a salary. The illusion of job security is too strong in my mind right now. To start from scratch is not easy. It will be a desperate hunt to produce an income sufficiently to sustain my expenditure. Even if I scale down my expenses, and live like a monk, it would be a hard time of getting the cash flow right. But I have no doubt that I would eventually succeed given that I have a strong compulsion to do it when force to do so.

Perhaps I’m just daydreaming too much. Though there are many successes, there are also many self starters who are also struggling. Take my brother for example, his free lancing as an art director seems to be going nowhere and now he has decided to do something else. Hopefully he would strike gold somewhere along the way and be successful and eventually not need to struggle for his bowl of rice.

So back to the old PC, what should I do now? It is getting kinda frustrating to use it. Perhaps I need to bring over my laptop to use in the office, just to show that the PC is too damn slow to be used. But I will not be compensated for using my own equipment when the company by right should provide me one for me to do my work efficiently.

No choice but to use it for now. Just like the cursor animation spinning in crazy circles while the PC struggles to start a program or retrieve a file, I will try to keep sane while my head spins in crazy circles too.