Fear is the mind killer. I shall not fear for the Lord is with me. But at times, you do feel the need to know where is God while you going through life challenges. Having gone through it, I know it was a very difficult situation to go through it.
Last Thursday, Janet who was in charge of Children Church together with her husband, Lena and I were making a visitation to family. To the mother actually. We made the decision to visit because her daughters were absent from Children Church for quite sometime now.
She was very happy to receive us and to generally talk about her situation. It was in a way to release her life tension by talking about it. I wish I had the chance to be more open when I myself was facing some pressure in my life, but I guess men and women react differently.
At first I thought her main problem was between her husband, who has been jobless making her the main sole breadwinner for the family. There is an internal family tussle for the control of her children destiny because the husband has not accepted Christ but instead has become more fervent in Buddhism matters.
Janet took the lead by discussing about family matters. But she kept saying that she felt very lethargic about going to work, which I felt didnâ€™t quite fit in with her family problems. So I decided to inquire further about her work. We soon found out the root of her loss of strength. It was her inability to master simple use of computer which led to her fear of losing her job. Yes, fear is definitely very oppressive. It can really paralyze a personâ€™s ability to live life fully. With this out in the open we could deal accurately and talk about what is really letting her down. If she can pull herself out of this situation it would definitely uplift her spirits.
Her family problem is also not in good shape either, with her husband ego being bruise for not being able to provide for her family. He seems to have withdrawn deeper into Buddhism and pulling along her two daughters along with him.
You may say what is wrong with Buddhism? They have some good policy about keeping your life balances and how to cleanse your own sin right? No. God has always place a high standard about keeping a life without sin. We as humans are easily stumbled. It is very easy for humans to commit sin. When someone sins against you, you always feel the need to hit back to get your revenge. But God talks about forgiveness. To forgive about others who has done you wrong. It is not easy. Even I struggle with it. Simple offenses are easily forgiven, but if the offense has really hurt you deeply, now that is another matter. And only by Godâ€™s grace can our sins be forgiven. And only by the blood of Jesus Christ whose sacrifice as an atonement to cover our sin can we be released from the wages of sin.
Though we may be administering to the motherâ€™s need but we are ourselves being administered too. Yes, we are always learning, never ceasing to understand and comprehend life challenges as it happens in our life. By Godâ€™s grace we shall overcome it all. It is by Godâ€™s grace that my struggle has been overturned.
â€œAnd you shall be the head, and not the tail.â€ I still remembered the prophesy given to me by Pastor in my last Sabah mission trip in October 2006, last year.
So hopefully this visitation would help her release her fear as she goes about finding a solution to master her work task. With this out of the way, she could somehow overcome her household problem. Only love and understanding can she win over her husband and her children over to Christ. This will really need patience and endurance. Ah, if overcoming challenges was ever that easy. It is like being forged in the kiln, to be broken and remolded in Godâ€™s hand to be more Christ like. To die to one self and be humbled. And when it is done, God will lift us up like eagles on wings up high in the sky.
Life challenges us. We will not give up holding on to the grace of God for his love and forgiveness and hope to see us through everyday.